1. |
Moving to Egypt
03:36
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Staring at his discrete mathematics
I felt my guilt inside grow massive
My whole life is a game of hide and seek
Find a train to hop on to
Find a path, one that goes through
My regret that lies in front of me
I am afraid of my brother
That he’ll come back and become my father
All I need is another reason to hate him
Since I was born I wanted to move after
All of this but I feel I'm moving backwards
She fought a war, but what comes after?
A battle scar, an alcoholic actor
The city gets smaller when you're alone
I know a good time when I see one
I know a bad time when I’m in one
I feel complete when you feel nothing at all
Let me act like a petulant child
Who wants and wants and lives in denial
We can live in silence and pretend we’re something else
The hardest part is making these decisions
I ran from my guilt and died in my sense of privilege
I'm starting to feel like Jesse
I'm sinking like a stone in the sea
I'm burning like a bridge for your body
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2. |
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So this is it, my old friend
This is how we meet again
We're both back home
And yeah I guess that I'll admit
That I didn't know shit
About being alone
But if you let me stay here
Then I'll let you back in
And if you graze my shoulders
I'll let you stay again
We are poison to each other
The most violent of lovers
My old friend
Wipe that grin off your face
Where was the place I was born again?
But if you teach me how
I won't ever forget
If you let me breathe in
I'll take the pain again
Every addict always lines up
With the same look glued to them
They're just fixing for another reason to let someone in
But if you let me sink much further
I'll let you sink with me
Who was the person in the mirror
Your past self wanted to see?
Writing songs you don't connect to
Or at least do not connect to anymore
Throwing pages of apologies and passion and hatred
On the floor
Well if you forgot why I came here
Don't even ask me anymore
I know there's a God out there
And he's been knocking down my door
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3. |
Mitt Romney
02:10
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Your selfish pride it envelops
All the good that was in you
I miss being wholesome
I bet you miss loving god
My ego aside
I have plans for you to
What does it take to admit that it’s over?
You can home, we’re still waiting for you here
You are the poison in my drink
I am the sword in your back
I’ve broken all your commandments
I’m not worthy of rapture
I have followed my own code
Man, they’ll come for me too
Your ego aside you,
You have plans like I do
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4. |
A Song About an Otter
03:11
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You're too good for freedom
And I am walking on unstable ground
You're asking for that old guy
But that old guy isn't around
And I miss all my friends
I don't think that they miss me
And I miss my old life
But I know that it doesn’t need me
Love love love
What would you do without me?
I'll be dead dead dead before you can even see
Me being different or me being clean
The difference between us is yet to be seen
I lost more than I'll ever be payed back
And I sold it
Couldn’t get on the right track
I don't think I have another recovery in me
I'll be strong
Just to see what I need to see
5 hours until New York
We're never coming back
You've given my heart reasons to beat again
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5. |
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I can’t believe you saw kindness in me
There is no part of me that you should aim to keep
My eyes turn red when I’ve had too much to drink
But I never lose sight of you
I'm alone outside and the cold chills my blood
You threw me a raft in the heart of a flood
And one, two, three, take advantage of me
I'll never lose a fight with you
I'm so fucking stubborn and I need to feel right
And someday you'll hear me start to scream when we fight
You should be afraid of what I know that I am
Just try to lose me now
Everything at once can coalesce in my mind
And all of his friends just want me to get high
I say I already am as I toss them aside
They hate the real me
A liar, a thief, I probably stole this damn line
From someone with talent who can actually write
And if I can't do this I’ve just been wasting my time
I just need to keep you
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6. |
Coccinellid
03:59
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I tried to pray to god on an inflatable mattress
It was my mother’s first apartment somewhere in the city
And I thought to myself
There would be nothing that could turn off the lights
We played with sidewalk chalk and drew pictures of animals
Adorned the hardwood floor with blue and green army men
The Christmas tree the first year
We still laugh about how sad that thing was
Neighbors’ voices bled through the walls
I didn’t hear a goddamn thing
One of her places downtown, I was certain was heaven
Cuz there was a backyard and we could all go walk to the movies
I drove by recently, could not believe
The place that I thought was a home then
You were so strong for inventing a life for three children
Sometimes making it up just a bit as we went along
And we evolved, traveled like the wind
And each year was just a little different
I can still hear the sound of the ice cream truck in New York
That guy was busted for selling weed to the parents
And the trash bags, on the side streets
We were just so sure that place was haunted
A ladybug crawled up the beams on the porch in New Hampshire
I stared at it crawl as I leaned back and remembered what you said
“You get what you give and I hope that you know that a house and a home aren’t the same thing”
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7. |
So Meta, Bro
02:49
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I can’t remember what I used to love about this place
Just stab me now and let me bleed on the floor
I’ve been staring at the lights every night and now my eyes are so sore
I need the sting again
I stuck a needle in your arm and told you “don’t be afraid”
As i cowered in fear and i watched you walk away
I’m nothing but the sins of my father
I am afraid of me and what I said that night
I walked around these empty hallways praying for a fight
And I reflected blue light
I had a backbone once and I miss it dearly and I
Would give anything to learn how to say goodbye
Or make a first impression last
I call bullshit on you, Mr. Johnny Cash
You didn’t kill no one, you just wanted your sadness back
Your words, they meant nothing to me
Well I’m not dangerous, at least not yet I don’t think
But if I fly off the handle, you’ll be the first one to see
The person I consider the real me
A caged beast, a chained up dog
I am nothing but the sins of my father
So let me be alone
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8. |
Daniel Jacobson
00:25
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I'm not the greatest I could be
But I am good enough for me
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9. |
40 Degree Day
03:42
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Lost and alone
Calling me from a phone
Told me about how the broom closet smelled
When you were trapped and you were scared
Saw the walls need repair
As he destroyed a house and a home
The smell of her beer
The words that stay in your ears
Every time you think you're alone
And if a husband’s sins
Can’t justify this
Brace your leg when the aftershock comes
You got thrown away
Sorry you feel alone
This is the path that you chose
You got thrown away
It smells like a cheap cigarette
God I know that breath
It's the smell of iron and whiskey
From his blood-stained lips
To her torn fingerprints
That she keeps in the walls
They say a breeding ground starts
Where your heart falls apart
So your touch is a contraceptive
I smell whiskey and I feel
Her threats become real
He's alone once again
Well he's got a new car
She's got some new friends
He's stuck in the atmosphere
She's nothing but dead ends
So as a dream becomes a nightmare
You've gone from dead eyes to blank stare
I feel the warmth starting to return
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10. |
Shook My Own Roots
02:30
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Well I shook my own roots
Stood away from the tree
Can’t keep my old self
I can’t keep being me
And I knew from the start
The people we are
Don’t get to be happy
Don’t get to make art
Too afraid to forget
How we got here I bet
That what’s keeping you anchored
Is your sense of regret
That you finished too early
And waited too late
And the last voice you heard
Pretty much sealed your fate
It’s not too late to pick ourselves up from the ground
Clean our hands under water, keep making sound
So that if the light goes out, they can find us again
If I have to climb more, I will climb til the end
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11. |
Arriving in Egypt
04:31
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Well I got here and truthfully
I feel different
I cried and flailed my legs like an infant
But I feel more holy
And my knees got weaker
And I don't think I'm living in heartbreak anymore
I'm not stuck in park here anymore
I'm almost free of the guilt inside
I'm no longer living in fear all the time
Last stop is Egypt, or god damn, is it Massachusetts?
If you don't chase love then by the end of your life you'll lose it
And I stepped back and chased my mistakes
No longer afraid of taking the pain
Cuz being this weak can't fucking kill me anyway
No longer afraid of my own depression
Not romanticizing my fake, tragic ending
Well I was loved but I never felt so unloved
It’s a new day
And I am not the same kid as I was
That was a lifetime ago
Where were you?
I felt like I ran off the side of the earth and I had
I had no, I fucking ran out of air
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